Saturday, September 03, 2005

I've made some interesting therapy progress. It looks like my emotional withdrawal problem is not even close to my problem. Odd, since that was the original theory. It's possible that I'm actually afraid of showing weakness (thus my lack of emotion). So now I have something else to ponder on.

So now it's I hold back my emotions. This causes some paranoia and inner turmoil (big whoop). I go to a therapist, and he spends four weeks trying to get me to come out. Decides from what I say, I think showing emotion is weakness (crying, sadness, fear) so I stop showing them. So he wants me to figure out all these times I should have felt something but let nothing through, and confront them. I really don't like this at all, because I can't think of any events that should affect me. Hell, I don't feel anything ever anymore. I have no pity, and I don't even feel much at all (if anything) during times of hardship and disaster. Feh, I just think I'm an asshole and I'm wasting my time at Covenant.


posted @ 8:46 PM

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Grand Master Funk