Noise Pollution: Home of the Blues King

NEW BLOG!

2007-11-21T07:34:00.000-05:00

I have a new blog.... go to it and add it to your links... now.

hehehe, I've always wanted to do this.

http://deardiaryjeff.blogspot.com/

Fuck Dem Bitchez!

2007-10-08T17:12:00.000-04:00

Fuck people! That's what I say, fuck them, have a cig, a drink, and move on. Personally, i think it's a good standpoint...

Oh yeah, I'm alive... yup.
I'm also getting drunk with Ryan, so all is well. He is having a good day, and so am I, and that is all that matters.

and fuck people... twice as hard for Ryan... in the ass... while i watch.

GO FISTING!

It was 8::::::::::::::::::::>
thiiiis biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig.

Los Angeles

2007-06-05T04:59:00.000-04:00

In the depth of my restlessness I decided to plan a vacation. At the same time, I discovered the wonders of Skybus, a very cheap airline.... so here is the deal.

With consulting and co-planning with Rachel we came up with this.

Cheap airfare (80-100 roundtrip)
Good hotel, low price (30-40$ estimated a night)
Gas money for driver to airport (5 hour drive)

So far, it is we leave from Columbus, Ohio on January 2nd. Leaving from Ohio because that is the closest airline for Skybus. Don't worry, I did the math compared to the other flights at the same time, we are saving literally hundreds of dollars.

Arrive in Los Angeles, check in... and well...

Hollywood (sign, studio, walk of fame, and so on)
Disneyland
Universal Studios
Beaches (Venice Beach anyone?)
Bars n' Nightclubs n' FOOD (Including celeb hotspots like the viper room)

That's just a few things to do. Los Angeles has the best film museums around, and once again.... nightlife.

oh yeah, shopping. The downtown promenade is a celeb hotspot so even if you have a camera... well... yeah.

So this is my latest plan. I'm just waiting for the official flight prices to be released for January and the official prices should be set, or as close to official as I can get.

Interested? Well say so.

This will be great if you:

Want out of the cold weather, want to see a celeb, like to drink, like to eat, like to shop, or like the beach.

Oh, and the sights.... this should be fun... and the more people who decide to come, the cheaper it can get. Ryan may be attending along with myself and Rachel... so yell if you want in.

Discontent

2007-06-02T13:44:00.000-04:00

Just as discontent as last night, but now it doesn't involve tequila. That good ol' feeling is just seeping back into my bones. I guess I'm just way too restless.

I Need Something

2007-06-02T00:21:00.000-04:00

I need something... I just do. I don't know what, but I need it to survive. I'm in a routine right now peppered with random stuff I find amusing. I have no real commitment to even speak of. I'm just here. If something doesn't change I might just lose my mind. I need to do something about this.... I just do. I'm even doubting my studies... everything is just so... dull! I mean, what do I have to show for myself lately? Not much, that's for sure.

I lost!

2007-04-26T09:12:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I lost the whoel sober thing. The last two weeks I tried to stretch my own rules, but now... no, I'm done. I don't think I really believed in it anyways. I know, excuses... but hey, it was more of a novelty when I think about it. I gave it a month or so, but it just isn't working out. I have cut down in my drinking, but hell... sometimes I just want to celebrate!
But it's all good.

What's Important

2007-03-29T22:08:00.000-04:00

Being on this sober spell can be tough sometimes. But what, I'm ten days in? I can't wait until I have a month in.... Anywho, with all this cognitive time I've actually had some motivation to really think again. I'm figuring out what's important to me, and what really doesn't seem to matter so much anymore. I've been cliging to this self image of myself for a few months and it needs to go... just not feeling it. Of course, if you know me... I do this every once in a while, so no harm done, just another update.... just another ability to reflect (since I avoid it, usually). It's interesting thinking about how I've been changing politically... I've even considered going a little more active with my beliefs! Not like me at all... usually I'm pretty apathetic, but know I seem to think about every little thing that crosses my path.

We shall see...

Happy Feet

2007-01-18T13:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Feet is the best movie ever.

See it.

It reminded me how much I like Prince!

Alcoholic? Maybe.

2007-01-13T22:35:00.000-05:00

*raises glass*

This is to all you single people!

Anna
Kelly
Cherie
Joe
Ashley (both of ya)
Laura
Sam
Alex
and everyone else who is single!

Doesn't mater if you are freshly single, been lonely for years, or just like to party it up... you're still braver then quite a few people I know! Because of the last few months I have a new found appretiation for my status. As always, if it changes, it changes.... but I will never look down on someone for being single, and I will never regard being single as a curse. Change can be fun, but enjoy it while is lasts.

This is my official toast to the single ones!

Also of note.... last night was a friggin' BLAST!

oh yeah....

Red Headed Slut
1.0 Cranberry juice
1.0 oz Peach Schnapps
1.0 oz Jagermeister

yeeaah...

2007-01-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

So my life at the bar is taking an interesting shift. For those of you who know me well, things seem to be going back to normal for me... yeeaaah. Also, I have a few new drinks on my list I've been becoming rather fond of.... like the 7&7... mmmm.... and Guinness. I've always liked Guinness to an extent, but now I love it. I've noticed it's the perfect type of beer catalyst for my personality. It has a nice aroma and a smooth finish.... best served at 4 degrees celcius!

As always, my guitar is ever shifting more and more experimental. I barely even use normal chords anymore.... just the dominants for singing.

I want a Wii.

This is my formal thanks too all who enjoyed my birthday with me, and of course Rachel, for hosting my party. Thanks loves!

On January 3rd

2007-01-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

On January 3rd, 2007.... I turned 21.... this is what I drank that wonderful day.

Long Island Ice Tea (BIIIIG!) - Cabin
Blowjob - Cabin
Kamikazee - Cabin
Whiskey Sour - O'Kelly's
Long Island Ice Tea (not so big, but uber strong) - Wayside
Bird Bath (Bicardi 151 and Mountain Dew) - Bird
Pitcher of Beer (High Life, divided by three) - Bird
Tequila Sunrise (strong) - Marty's
Seagram 7&7 - Marty's
Lemon Drop - Bird

Those are the drinks I remember. After the lemon drop I blacked out and woke up at home with a waste basket near me. I don't know how I got here. I'm still drunk.

More will come after I get out of work.

Happy Birthday to me!

2007-01-03T09:37:00.000-05:00

I'm 21.

I threw up at McDonalds....

at the drive thru....

2006-2007

2006-12-31T08:00:00.000-05:00

Oh please let '07 be better then 2006.

My new years resolution? To make it to my 21st birthday. After that I can die or whatever it is people like me do.

REMINDER! Rachel is hosting my party. It will be at her place on Saturday, the 6th of this month. Just so you know.... oh yeah, bring booze... and let's get some variety!

- He's phonified! (He's a suiter!) -

2006-12-26T11:08:00.000-05:00

New cell - 989 397 5260

I hope everyones Christmas went well. Mine wasn't bad at all. I never realised how much I miss seeing my family from time to time. As I get older, I am slowly getting more attached. What makes it worst, though... is I also miss my Dad, but I called him last night and we talked, so it was cool. He was over with some family in Texas (some who are on my facebook, hey everyone!) and I got to speak to my Aunt over the phone. I miss those (you) guys and I can't wait till the family reunion.

We are going to be so drunk.

To the rest of the family who read this, I miss you and we need to get together eventually.

On Christmas.... I drank multiple...
cheap beer
really good beer
wine
homemade wine
whiet russian
cream and milk
chocolate martini
vodka martini
rum and coke
straight rum
irish coffee
gin and juice
manhatten

I kept my wits about me for the most part, but didn't do a whole lot of moving.

Nine more days.

Minifridge...

2006-12-22T01:57:00.000-05:00

If I can get my hands on a minifridge and a bedpan, I would never have to leave my room except to go to work... maybe I should get a job I can do at home... never leave.... mmmmm...

Sorry 'bout that, berks... been sittin 'ere not wantin' ta' talk ta' people, so pike off!!1!

AHHHHHHH!

*ahem*

I fear I am slowly losing my mind.

Peace...

2006-12-18T12:46:00.000-05:00

I think the amount of email that goes unread in my email sent by my ex will be quickly decreasing.

Three cheers for solace!

hip hip!

In other news, my Mom is 50, my Aunt is 40, and I will be 21 in two weeks.

"And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold."

Alcohol

2006-12-07T21:27:00.000-05:00

I love to drink. I love everything about it... everything. Beer, wine, vodka, rum, whiskey, schnaaps.... anything and everything. I like it straight, mixed... in a highball glass, in a shot, shooter, bong, stemless wine glass, champagne flukes, snifter glasses, and rastaman shots... I love it all. I'll do a shot off someones navel (and indeed I have), and I'll gladly light my drink on fire. I'll bing three beers at once for a phone number, and even put vodka in a bong and drink until I can't stand. Beer? I love all kinds... ale, mead, lager, draft, export.... jager in a shot? Drop it into a stein of Budweiser and chug? Sounds like fun. I've mixed vodka and picante sauce... put it in a shot glass, and did a shot (actually a few) before. Like I said, I love to drink.

You know that first sip of beer? The first gulp? Right after it comes out of the fridge and it's ice cold? Delicious.... so delicious... smooth... mmmmm....

Do you know the satisfied feel a person can get after drinking an entire martini in one gulp? Amazing... then biting down on the acidic wonderful olive with all the gin and vermouth soaked in.... oh yes... sexy.

21st Birthday

2006-12-05T13:41:00.000-05:00

In less then one month I will be 21.

Updates!

Rachel, out out of the wonderful kindness of her heart has agreed to host my b-day! I love you Rachel! You're the only girl in my life... except for Anna and Kelly of course... and I still think my Mom is hot.. and Ryan is my girl too.... aaanywho.

January 6th! It will be wherever Rachel is living, I hope to talk to her soon to see if any progress has been made.

On my actual birthday (January 3rd) I am going bar hopping! I want anyone who can get into a bar here in Mt. Pleasant! At first I wasn't going to, but now I'm thinking it will be that Monday/Tuesday night at midnight (the 3rd is a Tuesday) then the next day (still Tuesday) from noon till pass out. Then the next day.... but only the midnight is mandatory, if you don't want a week long drinking binge then stay away after January 3rd.... as long as you are at the party.

Drink of the night? Long Island Ice Tea. At the party? Martini time bitches.

On top of all this, I want to have a get together on the 22nd of this month as my small Christmas get together. I would love it if I could get some of you stop in and have a drink or two... and food.... always food.

Jeff loves you! OMG LIEK BYES!

alive

2006-11-18T13:00:00.000-05:00

Still alive and kicking....

As always, I been working... quite a bit. I work, and coutn down the days until I can go to the bar after I get out of work just to wake up then go to work.... then to the bar... then work... then a day off (at the bar), then maybe I'll eat something to help absorb the liqour. Not to stay sober enough to walk, but to stay drunk enough longer to forget why I bother going to work, then to the bar... and then home.

It's a cycle of insanity.

Hehehe, that's nowhere near accurate. I like work, I just need to cut down my hour (just a little) so I have time to do things I need to get done. Also on the plus side I been making more and more friends at work. It feels good to get along so well with people.

I haven't had a drink since halloween... having withdrawls... getting sleepy... soooo sleepy.

In the dating world I been very... finicky. I date, then stop, then date someone else (for an entire two days!) then stop. I don't even think the second counted as someone I "dated" either. I just like to call it that to make me feel like I've done something. In reality I haven't, it's something not even worth mentioning in the same sentence as the word "date." The reason behind my picky dating is because I can't talk to them about what I'm interested in. In reality, in order for me to be happy.. I need someone who I can talk to about more then just us, or how the day went. I need someone who is interested in things, and passionate. I mean, I can talk about plants to one, and geology to the other, but never both. Sometimes it's so limited I can't stand it. Now I must admit, intellectually speaking it's been a hgue improvement since my last fiasco, but hell... My biological clock hasn't even started ticking... and I'm a guy, so I don't expect it to start until it's too late. So I'm going to just sit back and see what paths I come across. If the girl doesn't think, or thinks only because she has to think... then I'm wasting my time. I wnt a girl who WANTS to think.

OUT DAMNED SPOT! OUT I SAY!

Hawt

2006-11-04T06:42:00.000-05:00

Ice skating hurts. Fun... hurts... sore... hehehehe.

If you didn't pick it up yet, I went ice skating last night and had a blast. For the first few minutes I would get going and then crash and burn in a horrific rolling and bouncing action to the ice and then slide into the wall going a million miles an hour. After I got the hang of it, I used speed to make up for my lack of know-how and grace as an inner compensation so I could live with myself.... that also put me into the wall a few times.

It was a blast, the event was from my general manager at work and a few of us Staples employee's actually attended and were thoroughly amused by the whole thing.

But I am sore...

Reckless Indulgance?

2006-10-23T12:07:00.000-04:00

Well I have taken my life back. Life after Pam was difficult but now that I am finally rid of her, I have been able to storm the gates and take everything I wanted back. I am re-training myself to be a drinker among drinkers, guitar player of teh sex.... and of course, Jeff has eased his way back into dating. I must admit, it feels good. As always I'm excelling at work so the money is still flowing... not to mention I'm making all kinds of friends. I been invited to events and all sorts of cool stuff. I also need a date of an ince skating event... I wonder who I shall bring?
I may also bring a few friends, so if you want to go ice skating on nov 3rd, from 9:15 (pm) and on.... gimme a shout.

Two Years

2006-10-22T20:00:00.000-04:00

Well, the two year anniversary of this blog has recently passed, go you... mr. blog.

Halloween? costume? non-existant. Work is quite steady.... hanging out.... stuff... consistancy is sentence... fading... nudity.... happening.

Quality Control

2006-10-16T13:31:00.000-04:00

Heehehehe, I look over to my case of budweiser sitting next to me... and what I see a a red, white and blue box of happiness with a "satisfaction guerenteed" print right in my face. Don't worry beer, I am satisfied... it's ok... cry to daddy... so he can drink your tears.

So I've taken my single life back, and my intelecctual... and it feels GOOD. Yesterday I ordered about 12 medical books (a mixture of types) for my reading pleasure. Not all are medical journals though. It's a mix of novels, journals, and stories. I also ordered some non-medical for my need for some escape. I also ordered a 2007 calender from www.despair.com along with "The Art Of Demotivation" managers edition book! I can't wait! S I should have some 15-16 books to last me for a while.

As always, lots of guitar.... Last night Anna and I worked on some chords and a few songs. She so rocks that D chord! GO ANNA AND THE D CHORD! YEAH! LET'S GET FUCKED UP AND FIND SONGS WITH THE D CHORD!

Wait... I know a bunch.. hehehe, go D chord.

I made a move recently, let's see where this one goes. I have high hopes for it. Going out again tonight. I look forward to it... she is really cute and funny (also intelligent!).

Well, I best get ready for work... soooo...

Go Tigers?

October

2006-10-13T11:25:00.000-04:00

So chances are the end of october are going to be pretty crazy. Birthday parties, halloween (times two baby!), a play thing, and of course Jeff is working on his music (as always). I wrote a new song about how I've been feeling lately. Many of you already know how I kind of flipped the other day about things that have been bothering me (no elaboration required). If you do want some info though, I'm on AIM at least at one point in the day.... anywho. I wrote a song called "God Fearin' Man," and I have to say.... it's a pretty decent song. I look forward to playing it more in the near future. The only thing is.... it's too dark for a coffee house, so theaudience may be mixed up.

That's good, because I never really cared for them anyways.

Ah... I love being bitter. I feel like me again. took a few months but I finally feel satisfied. I'm not here to please people all day long, I have my own agenda.... and I will crush anyone who gets in my way. OMG LIEK EXCEPT 4 MY ROOMIES~ !! LOLOLOOLROFLORFOLOL!1

I'm still alive.... barely... need beer... out of beer... Jeff, find beer..

Crunk

2006-10-11T00:19:00.000-04:00

The "Professional Drinking League"

YOU MUST DO THE POWER HOUR FIRST!

Contact us on Facebook if you must.

Beer

2006-10-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

I took two from the beer bong the other night. I forgot how much I loved it (and how fucking good at it I am). Jeff, buy more beer... we need to wear that mother out.

Sincerely, Frustrated and Tired

2006-10-09T01:35:00.000-04:00

So it's officially Monday.

Fucking yippie. I'm feeling quite melancholy this morning. I'm just fed up with some people right now and I wouldn't mind being left alone about a lot of things. It's all.. the... time... and... I... want... it... to... stooop. Am I being selfish when for once I don't want to hear about problems people have? All I want to do is read my books, go to work, and be happy with it until school starts. Is that reasonable? Anyone? Is it ok to have a few days where a problematic personal life isn't some form of a "highlight?" I mean, with this girl I keep telling myself neither of us are iinterested.... then something happens that changes my mind. So I think my official stance is "go for it." I'm past to safety zone for being single. I've moved on, and it's about time I get myself out in the dating world again. Ugh! fucking people sometimes.

On another note, I was able to drink enough to get a buzz last night. Lately it's been difficult to consume alcohol (and I can never match my old habits).... but I was able to accomplish a small victory last night (it was small by my standards). So my "fun" skills should be coming back. I'm sick of this SHIT! What the fuck!? I just want to get fucked up and do something stupid. I miss old Jeff quite a bit right now. He was a lot better at this... so you know what? I'm going to find him. Old Jeff could do everything I do now, AND be happy! Matter of fact, old Jeff had a lot more going on for him then I do now. Life is too short for me to sit around and e reclusive. Jeff, fix your fucking car, get a fucking beer, and find a fucking party. No more of this insecure shit either. This isn't me. I let my dillusions of what is right and wrong cloud who I am.

I'm still alive...

2006-09-28T02:40:00.000-04:00

Oooohhh yeah! I have this blog, don't I? I nearly forgot.

Well good news everyone! I have my internet up and running in my room (finally) so I am in a position to communicate with you scallywags again.... cool, eh? Besides that... NEWS FLASH! Nothing really that exciting to report! I just work a bunch and I've been reading my medical stuff again now that my internet is up. I missed it for the last month and a half so it feels good to have acess to it again.

Working in retail has been a very interesting experience so far... I mean, I've had a few jobs but this one seems to stand out in my mind just because it's so... normal. I've been a tutor, a hospital volunteer (ok, doesn't technically count), sold knives, and a banquet center worker. Never have I had to deal with people in a position I have no control over. I'm used to being paid to work the customers and teach/do something for my skills and whatnot. Now I'm ere just to answer questions. The closest job to this one was the banquet center job... but I hated that job and it was just for money. It's just so weird when I don't have the "what I say goes" power. My schedule is set three weeks in advance, and my sales are watched closely. I have no independent power... and it's actually refreshing. At the hospital I was watched closely, but only because I liked to do fun stuff... like assisting the assistant pathologist. Now THAT was fun. I loved histology.... I got to be the little helper guy on foor dissections! That rocked! I also enjoy pulling malignant cysts out of surgery leftovers so I could put it on a slide...

aaanywho... I forgot what I was typing about, and proofreading is not my specialty... so I'm just gunna go.

Later, ya'll.

Oh yeah, Meredith Gray is a biatch, go George!

mewtwo

2006-09-04T14:24:00.000-04:00

So my quality of life has been improving ever so gently. I officially have enough money to survive and get things done as well.

Well I've been hanging out with Jamie and Cherie as often as I can lately. They are a lot of fun and I'm useful as an escape from roommates, and for me... everyone knows I love company! I'm just that talented at self amusement. The other day I was alone all day so I walked to Target and Staples! I'm pitiful when I'm just sitting around. To take the edge of it I play a ton of guitar and write a song once in a while. So far if i used my full open mic playlist I would be dead on or close to 20 minutes. The playlist in nice and balanced with a few covers and a few of my own. I also wrote workds to 'exit' and it is quite haunting if I do say so myself. It's a song about a boy on life support who wants his mother to take him off and let him pass, but she can't hear his hearts and wishes so she keeps him on while he is helpless.

Anywho, off to eat then work, later!

2006-08-26T12:30:00.000-04:00

So I've been getting a ton of hours lately and because I get held over it's not that hard to get a 42+ hour week at Staples.... so for me that's good and bad. The job isn't amusing anymore, it's already lost that fresh feeling and I would love to move on, but I can't. Tonight is my shortest shift in a week and it's 4 p.m. till close... meaning on Saturday (because Sunday starts new sales) I am guessing I'll be out around midnight. That's my guess, I never closed on a Saturday but everyone tells me I will not be out by 10. Usually we close at nine but because it's back to school we are open an hour later... so technically one in the morning might be more realistic.

Besides that, my bank account is increasing nicely, and I look forward to fixing my car. I already have rent ready to go, I just need two more checks and my car is back online (hopefully). I really want it fixed so I can go to Saginaw and visit Rachel and friends for a day or two, and maybe see my Mom... MAYBE! ;)

In our apartment complex we are surrounded by really really bad guitar players. They crank the amp and shit away on my wavelength. Yesterday I plugged in Anna's bass just to prove they suck and need to shut up for a while because they are nothing!

"I'll smack you in the mouth I'm NEIL DIAMOND!"

My white jeans are in the process of being decorated. So far Anna and Kelly took the liberty to write on them with colored sharpies and put everyones favorite phrases on them... bow we need to destroy them and patch them up (Rachel, we may need you for this!). They will rule all when finished.... in a gay homeless man's blanket sort of way.

Oh my God... the guitarist iss trying to play System in normal tuning.... oh come on! Rage Against The Machine is NOT HARD!

Ugh.

Work

2006-08-22T12:36:00.000-04:00

'lo!

Last few days been pretty... not busy. I didn't work for a few days and I did very little that I would consider productive. I was mostly hanging out with Cherie and friends.... so I don't have much to update other hten I have a new bank account going with MONEY IN IT! Getting closer!

I work the next three days (well, two and today) from 2-10:30... then I have Friday off, but the day part will be productivity, and the rest of Friday is hanging out. Rumor has it Josh and Joe are coming up, so I may have to bug 'em.

Jamie, Cherie, and Ashley have a new roommate and I hung out with her and Cherie for a while and she is cool... so new friends is always good in my world.

My focus has been mildly delayed due to my little vacation time (and E.R.) but I'm still on track and I am being good, so woohoo for me.

Well, I'm off to finish getting ready for work, lata!

Cross

2006-08-19T14:20:00.000-04:00

I decided yesterday the hospital is too tame for me.

Red Cross here I come!

Taking it

2006-08-17T18:47:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I feel it really is as easy as reaching out and taking it.

Goals that is... all you need to do is want it... not need it, but want it. When you need something, you may have an obligated feel, or not even know you need it.

When you want it, you want it. I keep repeating this in my head.

I want to be a doctor. I will be a doctor. I will dedicate my life to others. I will be strong. The world can be mine, as it can be all of ours. I will matter.

That's how everything seems to work with me right now. If I want it, I can have it. My mind isn't even on materials right now. I just want out of my hole, and I will get out.

I also want to watch Project Runway some more. I marathon is on. I will watch Project Runway.

2006-08-11T11:40:00.000-04:00

I think what seperates myself from a few people is my incredible passion I hold for just about anything. I thought about it this morning and I discovered their isn't much I don't have passion for. The idea of it all makes me happy.

Work

2006-08-08T20:55:00.000-04:00

Just got back from work.... good day, really good day. I'm starting to enjoy my job because it gives me what I crave... people. I love people... I just want to chit chat all day with them if I can or could. When I'm at work I'm happy... it distracts me from unpleasant thoughts.... so work = good. Money rules too.... but I never think about the money, just the job on hand.

Wanna know something really weird? I dream about when I'm at work.... no lie! It is always on my mind now.... weeeird.

Alex is coming over tomorrow, woot! He has a job interview in Grand Rapids! GO ALEX!

This update brought to you by Jeff, since Anna won't update her FRIGGIN' SITE!

Hehe, that one goes out to Rachel.

Mreow

2006-08-07T23:18:00.000-04:00

Well I'm home from work.... and that job is getting a bit better. I'm not in some much trainingnow and I'm reated like an employee, not a rookee... so that's good.

I don't feel as depressed when I'm at work, so I may shoot for uber hours... I just feel better at work then when I'm left to my thoughts...

Tomorrow I work from 2-8, then three days off.... I'm going to be super productive so I don't lose my mind.

Anywho, that is all!

2006-08-07T12:19:00.000-04:00

So today (so far) I got up, and Anna took me to MMCC, and then we went to the hospital here in teh Pleasant. I'm going to be shooting for "Patient Communicator" at the hospital. I talk about how the day is going, ask how they are feeling, and just be an informed comforter/counseouler.

Not too shabby, and I can walk away feeling better about how I run my life.

So personal satisfaction + usefulness = happy Jeff.

I can't register for class yet, so that was mildly upsetting.... but hey, can't win them all in a single day, eh? So I hope to get that done as soon as they open up winter registration because I REFUSE to procrastinate. I will be a doctor.

2006-08-06T18:56:00.000-04:00

All is well in the world of Jeff. I barely think about my past relationship at all! It's crazy! I think I was honestly being held back from my full potential because when I was around her, I was almost always a sloth... now I'm being productive, and actually wanting to really increase my workload again. So that's good...

Anna and Kelly are awesome roommates, we are having a good time here in Mt. P... and on top of that, a girl has been checking me out at work the last two days. I don't know if I want to peruse it because I KNOW I HAVE TO BE SELECTIVE! I mean, I'm not exactly good looking, but let's face it... I'm stable, in school, have aspirations, and I don't know if anyone hates me.... so I'm not too shabby. I have something to offer... I'm not a loser, I'm not handicapped, I have a sense of humor, and I'm not stupid. I'm not a zero! woohoo! It's nice to be aware of that as long as it doesn't get to your head, y'know? But this girl is kinda cute and all, but like I said... I'm not the kind of guy anymore to just jump relationships, and I don't think sex on the first date is going to be my thing. I want something more mature.... I think I am comfortable with that. I don't want someone around for kicks, I want to be sure the next one is someone I can see myself with, trust, and really care for. Not that I didn't care for my last one, but let's face it, she didn't have anything to offer... I'm not going to kid myself.

I want to use this new start like a clean slate of sorts. I don't want to just dive in and go crazy. I want more self control, and more selectivity. Besides, sex is easy, trust is difficult. I guess what I am basically thinking.... is that I don't want to date anyone who is eligible for SSI anytime soon.

No offense to those of you who are on/want it.

Anywho, Jeff is doing good. I worked today and it wasn't so bad, but I work tomorrow too and I have to help close so I'm not really looking forward to that. Maybe later today or tomorrow I am going to integrate myself into the hospital here in the Pleasant. Maybe volunteer to read to burn victims or some sort... I want to do something more meaningful to me as a person. Maybe help the terminally ill as a makeshift counselor (they have that!). I dunno yet, I'm still playing with those ideas... I could also get back into pathology... open up dead people again, hehehehe. While doing all thins, I may cut down my volunteer time for phlebotomy classes through the hospital so later this year or early next year I can draw blood for money.

I'm still not sure if I am happy with Staples. I don't know if it's just for me... the cashier thing is really easy, but they are getting finicky with how long I'll have to do it before being put on the floor. I'll either be at the copy center or in electronics (sales for both).

I don't hate any co-workers yet, so that's a plus... but from what I hear they are all pretty cool guys and gals (including the one with a crush on me) so I'm not too worried about it.

Tomorrow is the day I register for classes! Three cheers to get Jeff back in gear!

Anywho, that's all for now.... but to end my post with this thought.

"I am so glad my dignity is intact."

Pam

2006-08-03T16:15:00.000-04:00

Pam, go away, please.

I don't feel angry, but I think my concern for you is gone as well.

Leave me alone, leave my friends alone.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I for one would not be to upset to never hear from you again. I'm getting back on my feet, and I feel like a persona again. My stress is down, and the last connection to misery (besides my bills) is you, just let me be.

Peace.

Rule

2006-08-02T10:42:00.000-04:00

Moved into my apartment.

Got a Job (Staples)

Got offered a manager position (Midland Mall).

Accepted into college.

Let's do this Jeff, you and me... let's find a girl.... someone mildly level headed who won't blow and sleep with anyone who wants it.

I rule!

HoldingON

2006-07-29T20:20:00.000-04:00

I'm holding to myself as best I can. Many of you have taken the time to help me and I really do appretiate it.... many time over.

I'm just kinda getting things back to where they belong.... before my life got all screwed up with Pam. I can see now she was bringing me down and I know now I can do better. So I'mgoing forit....give me a month or so and I can be back on top!

Cheat

2006-07-26T04:24:00.000-04:00

Well, all of you were right. I was wrong to put the last of my faith down on a gamble... I'm not too happy with myself right now either. Turns out Pam cheated on me last night (technically two nights ago)... so yeah... I made that last mistake on giving the relationship another spin. I thought the traumatics were over! I loved her, put my faith and trust in her.... loved her more then anyone else has ever loved her (and I know that's a fact) and yet this still happens. It wasn't out of attraction either, just pressure. I can barely stand myself right now. 2006 is not the year for me.... not at all. I'm in dept, trying to get money together, and now (and once again) emotionally crippled. I'm just so tired of it all... I think I'm out of forgiveness... I don't want to be a cold and bitter person, but unless something improves... I don't know what will happen. Moving up to Mount Pleasant should help a little, and I started working on getting my schooling going again today, so that's good... but regardless of the good, the bad happens in the traditional form. I have a stressful day, thena good day, then people like to fuck with Jeff's feelings. Seems to happen everytime I date someone with no ability to turn down head. Oh wait, this is my first time being cheated on, my mistake.

Unless someone has more to share with me. If that's the case, do it now, while I'm still mildly level headed. Right here, right on my blog.... prove to the world I fucked up by loving because sometimes that's how it feels.... like a war againt good boyfriends.... against good people.

I don't want to hear any "I told you so" comments, and I don't want your pity. All I ask for is a few ears willing to listen for the next few days... I know who approved and dissaproved how I re-started the relationship... I just wish I never been in therapy. This never would have happened if I felt no love.

Ever since I could feel, I never felt good for a decent amount of time.

Job

2006-07-25T12:54:00.000-04:00

You're all communist motherfucking cocksuckers!

Meh

2006-07-24T23:37:00.000-04:00

Most relationships are triangles...

A = Lover 1

B = Lover 2

C = Understanding

A relationship is considered flawed in the answer to C is above zero. No relationship is perfect. The gateway to communication will never be complete until C = 0.

I'm not perfect, but I try.

This simple comparison of math to relationships broght to you by me (Jeffy).

Mreow

2006-07-08T14:25:00.000-04:00

So... Mission Accomplished, I got a job... so now maybe I can go home for a few days soon before coming back up to start. My last day of training is on the 15th at 3:00 P.M., then I have two parties.... good times, good times. Now that I have a job, I feel like my old self. I'm coming out of my slump and acting like me again. My memory is doing great, and I can remember the good and the bad now. I know what happened to me, I remember fully.... and I'm over it. I don't even get mad or anything. So my head is ok, my job will be starting soon, and 'm starting to feel more intune with getting back into my study/research state again.

Cool, eh?

Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest.... ROCKED!!!!!1!!! OMG OMG OMG!@!!1

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Jobs

2006-07-06T20:58:00.000-04:00

I'm now a marketing representative for a ine multimillion dollar company.

I'll be making good money... I get to travel.... and I can work as many ours as I want.

Woot!

For those of you who I haven't spoken with in a few days.... I miss you, I love you.... but I love me more, so *sticks out tongue*......

Feh

2006-07-02T14:34:00.000-04:00

I'm going to be a bit out of contact for the next few days. I'm moving around, not exaclt sure where I am going to be. As long as you check your messages or get online from time to time, I'll figure out a way to contact you and tell you where to find me if I am needed.

When I say "you," I mean everyone.

I don't mean to dissapear, but I don't have an option right now.

Tap

2006-06-29T00:45:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm drunk and at Ryan's place. I love this place! The floor has no carpet and the place smells like freshly cut lumber, It has an atmosphere I can relate to.

Yup, druuuuuuuuuunk! Anywho.... yeah.... my memory isn't doing too bad right now, thankfully. I'm getting close to full functionability.... so that's good.

I feel good, but I need some poooooooooon. I love poon.... sex is good.

Sex is good.

Sex is good.

Pooooooooooooon!

Flight 93

2006-06-19T21:31:00.000-04:00

Ok folks, for those of you who ever wondered.... I'm going to give you the absolute best top 10 date/snuggle with popcorn mives ever recorded.... with links.

ready?

------

10. All Quiet On The Western Front http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0020629/

9. Glory http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097441/

8. Mystic River http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327056/

7. Dancer in the Dark http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0168629/

6. Requiem for a Dream http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180093/

5. 21 Grams http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0315733/

4. American History X http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120586/

3. Leaving Las Vegas http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113627/

2. United 93 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475276/

1. House of Sand and Fog http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0315983/

-----

All of my opinion are correct... so I am officially changing them to "fact," not opinions. Watch it with your significant other, trust me, the sex afterwards will be great.

You can thank me in cocaine and pizza.

Music

2006-06-14T18:20:00.000-04:00

I like music.... a lot. I can't stop rocking out on my instuments, and I don't ever think I will. I still feel all the music the same way (well, mostly) I used to, and maybe even more. Like befiore, I prefer music live. Studio recordings are too bland... no energy.... to me live recordings, or better yet.... concert viewings... really show off what the artist wants the song to be, and not the sound technicians. I hear a recording.... enjoy it... download the live version, and rock out to it. I rarely listen to a studio version and play that one on my head when I hear the song later.... it's usually live in my head. Why would I want the dulled down version to be the one I think of anyways?

Anywho, I need a band. Mine moved on because of my sickness and have already started with a few new people.... I'm not bitter in any way because I told them to do it since I would not be ready in time.... but I need a jam partner now.... anyone interested? My credentials are as following:

...I rock...

If anyone of you know someone that are willing to take me in as a "Lord of Awesome," please let me know.

Thank you.

Love

Grand Master Funk, the Lord of Evil.... The One who resides in a castle of virgin blood and crushed spiders that sits upon Mount Doom... Mount Doom can be found in the middle of the haunted Satanic Forest of Lost Souls.... and I rule this area with an iron fist of rightious smiting.... covered in acid.... and I sue my iron fist of rightious smiting covered in acid to rain justice upon the infidels in the form of bitch slaps of power and hatred.

P.S. my section on MySpace will soon be an artist profile, and I will have songs uploaded to www.myspace.com/eccentricjeff.

Hugs

2006-06-14T17:38:00.000-04:00

I'm tired.... not judt normal tired... but really tired. I want to do something with myself.... any suggestions?

I don't know if medicine is my thing anymore... I feel changed, and by all means I should be changed in a few ways, but now I feel unsure.

I kinda want to work on shaping my physical image a little more... gain some weight...

Head

2006-06-08T10:55:00.000-04:00

Well, my thoughts are clear, and my ability to remember is slowly coming back at a healthy pace. My physical health is doing good, I gained a little weight, and my cholesterol is down to 200. Yet, I'm not completely happy with myself right now. Despite everything that has happened, something is wrong, I just know it.

Something

2006-06-03T17:41:00.000-04:00

Pain, suffering, dissapointment, and a desire to become a better person killed me. I am no longer the Jeff Hagerl all of you have known. I have amnesia. I am living with it today, and will be tomorrow, and the day after. I would be nowhere if I have not left a string of notes and a journal for myself so I can find those who can help me. So much has happened to hurt me, I don't even know how I have survived at all. Today is the one wek anniversary of my new life, and I don't know how it is going, really. I am easily confused, and ghosts of the recent past haunt me with memories. Even after all of my operations, I am still hurting.... way deep inside. I an't watch television without a bad memory popping up. I can't play guitar, but I can play a little drums... My science and math skills are at par, but my medicine thoughts are still gone. Perhaps my majors and minors will change...

I'm alive, doing ok... but I still hurt.

Sickness

2006-05-25T19:00:00.000-04:00

I suppose I should explaine myself as of late. Well, I'm still sick... I never recovered. I'll be on my way out of state (waaay down south) very soon for a few days to get treated. I don't know what will happen to me. Although, I'm going to be straight with you.... things are bleak, but my spirits are high.... so take care of yourselves, as I will take care of myself.

Death

2006-05-07T10:12:00.000-04:00

Ok, this is getting fucking rediculous. I get three... four days of goodness? Then this.

An old friend of mine just passed away Sunday morning, I didn't find out to later that night and it just sent a shock through me. This si the man who was not only a good friend of mine, but a friend to my Mom as well. He also taught me how to work a computer oh so many years ago. I was still visiting him right up till the end.

RIP Frank Inman.

I was doing so well, too...

Grips

2006-05-04T00:45:00.000-04:00

I think I'm starting to fall back into place. I'm home now, and I am pretty much out of these bad feelings.... kinda. I'm ready to start picking work back up. I've kept my mind on alternate things lately, and I only have small portions of this and that creep up on me. So.... yup. Rebuilding commence.... please?

If something shoots me down again, things could get REAL interesting.

Bleh

2006-04-30T19:04:00.000-04:00

It's strange how I feel about things. I never get angry, I barely ever get sad.... But now it's all I am. Last few days I been filled with spite, bitterness, and a thirst for justice, whatever that is... but now it's just a void. I think I said everything that needs to be said, and now I just have to live with the actions of others.... isn't it amazing how the actions of others can affect us? I mean, I don't think much is stronger then having a memorable history with a person. Remembering parties, times on trips..... that one time everyone was playing with fire and getting drunk. Then realizing it was all for naught in the end. I just need to learn how to deal with such a feeling...

I did find out I have a much higher maturity then I thought. I can take a deep breath, tell myself to count to ten, and it may not work every time.... I did compose myself, and I wasn't afraid to ask for help. That's where it really matters.

In my time of need, I have always looked to my friends for help, because I don't know what, or if anything God has planned for me... Whatever it is I hope it's better then what is going on right now. In the end, I understand high potential chaos was led to me by misdirection and confusion by a second party. Now it helps me understand what I believe in a little more, and I feel we have much more freewill then I originally thought (just to clarify, I always believed in freewill, but intuition was something else)... Now I think much of what we feel is chemically induced, and the soul is bit more hidden.... but today I don't know if I have one, so I may have to do some digging around to see where I left it.

On a larger note, all of a sudden my side projects are slowly going back into swing. I cooked yesterday.... I actually cooked again. I also made a couple mixed drinks up in Mt. P, danced at the Wayside, and happily went to a party filled with strangers to simply mingle and hang out with mah good and trusted friends. I haven't felt so good in weeks and weeks... It kept my mind off things, y'know? I was distracted, no dwelling (or at least very little) took place. Not to mention I now have a trunk filled with vodka, triple sec, cranberry and orange juice.... I ran out of lime juice.... but yeah, we all did a few shots (I did 10), had a few drinks, a couple of us danced.... partied.... it helped me out... I'm not really back, I just pretend to be, but I'm on my way to recovery. The biggest downside was Rachel, Anna, and I did not get to sleep until about 5:30 or so (in teh morning bitch!).,... we had to be up at 9:30-9:40.... ugh, luckily it wasn't too bad, with Rachel riding with me, and our yelling of "Lady in Red" all was good for the drive.

Now I need to look at myself, and see what is changed, and what is staying the same.... I need to know where I am on trust levels between people now, I need to be more selective.... stick to personalities a little more stable and not quite as socially problematic. I'm tired of being a good guy all the time and making an attempt at helping.... I may get back into it, but right now I just want to communicate with people who really understand me...

...and that reminds me, I been doing some thinking, and I actually wonder if my ex actually knew who I was. I mean, apparently God led her to me, or so that is the theory, but why? She jumped at the chance to date me... no questions asked. Of course I thought she would be the one who could help me out of this slump, and teach me what it means to be human and closer to spiritual enlightenment, but now I do feel more human, but further from where I want to be. I don't think God would bring someone to me so I will push it away.... but I also know I have been understanding more and more what it means to be a good person with a foundation on whatever waits us.... but I have understood it at this level for a few weeks now, so it doesn't really count, does it?

So I'm going to recover, it will take time, but I'll be ok. The next big step is for me to work myself back to my usualy "normalities." I'm slowly getting back to eating, and I can sleep pretty decent again, but I have too much trouble when I'm alone... so I want to take the oppurtunity to mention all of you who here for me. You are the real loves of my life, I would rather marry all of you right now then try to meet a strange new girl at some random location to date.... I really do appretiate all of you, I don't know what I would do without you. The other day when I had my nervous breakdown, it was my friends who kept me going... thank you.

I love you!

Me

2006-04-29T10:45:00.000-04:00

Yup. I'm still alive, barely.

It just seems everytime my life is going good, something bad happens.... I've had enough a month ago when my brain was swelling. Now I'm just a shell, and need you guys more then ever. Help me.

Single

2006-04-25T21:10:00.000-04:00

I'm signle and doing just fine.

I'm also healed up.

So I'm single, I'm healed.... let's roll.

Brain

2006-04-14T21:56:00.000-04:00

I started head treatments today.... I had 12 shots in the mouth, and one in the nose.... THE NOSE!

My head hurts so bad, it really does... and my face is mildly numb and I can't drive.

God wants me to die, but nobody will let me.

Ugh...

2006-04-04T20:52:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates... nothing has really happened...

except I'm going to die very soon.

Yup, you heard it, Jeff is going to die... or at least it feels like it. Ok, get this. In december, I'm put on my new happy tendanitus medication with a few wonderful side effects. First, I had flu like symptoms for about two days around Christmas. Next, kidney stones... now my brain has swollen up about 8% or so and it is causing constant headache, hallucinations (cars coming down an empty road), unexplainable fatigue, loss of appitite, and constant daydreaming feelings. The headaches are bad, some are migraines, and last two-three days.... then it gets worse. The doctors tell me if I don't recover from this, I have a chance of having a stroke because the arteries are getting pinched or something like that. Well, about five days go by and all of a sudden I have even MORE difficulty to eat. I just have no interest in it.... then it happens.... huge migraine... and a soar throat. I spend three days in Mt. P during a huge party weekend in a non-fun comatose state. I eventually leave A 21st BIRTHDAY PARTY EARLY! I never once get drunk, and I never once eat a decent meal. My head was killing me, and my throat felt like it was on fire. So I come home, raid my place in STC for meds, and lock myself in at home in Carrollton. I go to work Monday, but the teachers tell me I'm in such bad shape that I look like a walking corpse and think I should go home..... so I do, the next day (today), my boss tells me to see a doctor and take as much time of as needed (I have a great boss)... I go to the doctor... and on top of brain swelling, I have toncilitus (spelling) and Strep Throat..... he prescribes me medicine but because of insurance confusion I don't get it till later... well during that time my airways in my throat close and I nearly suffocate a few times until I force them open with jello and water in high doses.

Well I get the medicine... and I have a shitload of it. Stuff for my head (including the weekly shot), my throat, and my mouth and palatte. I am on a total of seven medications... but it should be coming down to two very soon. But I swear, you guys are the best. I never thought I was actually cared for, it means a lot to me (I always figured I was an expendable muse). I love you guys!

Well, I got medication, lets hope I can recover fully.

Six more days or so and I'm out of the "in danger of having a stroke" zone.

...

2006-03-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

Well, ever since the breakup last Thursday, many thoughts have passed through my mind, and after some debate (and convincing), Pam and I are back together. This time, though, I live alone. Pam finally realised the only way she is going to become world wary is if she sticks with me, and she convinced me to give it another try. We are picking up where we left out, but cancelled out on living together. Besides, so far I need to finish up my loans to get that apartment in Mt. P with Kelly and Anna! WOOO!

BATTLE!

2006-03-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

The two enemies eyed eachother from across the room. On one side stood th imposter, Grand Master Feeling.... on the other, the real lord of the castle of virgin blood and spiders that resides on Mt. InsertEvilNameHere was standing calmly with a 14 ich double dildo.... colored neon blue.... in his hand. The imposter said "I have found love, and now have feelings, fear me, for I am the kind of this establishment." Grand Master Funk looked around and knew he was right.... for a second. "I don't think so" stated GMF, the true lord of this evil castle of hate and pre-marital sex. "I've come to reclaim my position of ultimate singleness!"

Insert Battle

GMF Wins

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the imposter with feelings as all 14 inches of the dildo enter his ass, stabbing him in the small intestine.... then collapsing on the ground with such force.... er, nevermind, only 104 pounds.... anywho, feather falls to the ground at an amazig speed before exploding into a thousand chocolate chips covered in pussy (not the good pussy either). GMF looks around before sitting back on his throne.... OMG LOL!!11 HE CLAPS HIS HANDS! Chris Quinn, his leper servent appears almost instantly... "Nhhhuurraaaamaaaa?" asks Quinn. "Yes, biatch, I would enjoy a tub filled with KY Jelly and a liter of screwdriver." states GMF, "and bring in the dancing girls!" Quinn leaves the room and brings in all the said mentionals.... and GMF states firmly "lets raise some hell."

Hehehehehe, I'm back! Party time.

Pam

2006-03-18T19:27:00.000-05:00

I thought of an easier way to tell the wonderfully boring tale of my break up with Pam.

I knew I have only changed a little on the surface, and Pam was much purer then I.... and she started to change into my world before I could become a better person, and I knew deep down inside it was wrong. So I saved her from me.

It still hurts, but booze is making it much smoother.

So....

2006-03-17T19:48:00.000-05:00

So it kinda happened.... broke up... and it hurts. Guys, I'm a huge mess.... serioussly. I cried... CRIED! Can you imagine me in this situation? It sucks.....

Anywho, what happened is that I left her while I still loved her, and she still loves me.... but I made this decision with only good intentions in heart... it hurts so much.... I don't like it.

.... I could really use you guys right now... this is hard.... be patient with me. When somebody lives with you, and you come home from work knowing your house will be empty, it's just hard. I go into my room and see the sudden lack of womens clothing, at that scent of her perfume that slowly fades from the room, and I know my memory will soon forget.... it's just so much to handle...

What does a gay horse eat..... ?

2006-03-01T22:33:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, been a week or three... post time!

So I spend a lot of time weighing decisions and trying to decide what I awnt, but I usually come back to the same things. Does that mean I don't have enough options, or does it mean my path is narrowing and I'm getting closer to my goal? Personally, I don't know.... but yeah, tonight I told Rachel I worry about being paranoid.... think about...

I'm worried about being paranoid.

It's pretty bad, I think I am slowly slipping into a pool of blah. All this work, and so little play... I need to get away, but I already have a vacation planned (New Mexico) and I think it will be good for me, but I want to do something wioth friends. Friday night I'll be with Nick and Chris (girlsfriends included) to do a touch of drinking and cathing up.... so that should be fun. I want to see more people but distande and funding combined don't work at this time of the year for me. I'm so deep in my studies.... I'm tired, but giddy. I'm uncovering a ton of info about the interpretations of the Bible, it's orgins, and all that good stuff....

My job is very stressfull... the school I work at is an academy of evil.... very strict, very unflexable with HUGE problems with discipline. I come home everyday and just play guitar... relax Jeff..

Speaking of guitars, I now own a black Fender Stratocaster.... I need to name it.... some names I've been thinking on are:

ADARA: "Beauty." Also an Arabic name meaning "virgin," and a Hebrew name meaning "fire." Variants, Adar and Adra, exist.

EULALLIA: well-spoken

KALLIOPE: beautiful voice

ANABELLA: beautiful grace.

CASSANDRA: doom

That's all for now, Jeff out.

So much to do...

2006-02-17T10:13:00.000-05:00

I have so much work sitting in front of me right now. I am about to stop sleeping altogether, I can just feel it. Ok, check this out. I've been doing all kinds of assorted works lately. For example, I read two books yesterday, one was 500 pages, and one was 200 (this is rounded down and from memory). One of the biig book of philosophy, and the other was a book Pam bought me.... it's a philisophical book on religion and science melding together. I think my majors have not finished shifting yet. I mean... I'm am learning so much! This rules! I am so excited, I just feel... powered.... if that makes sense.

Here is an example.

Question: Science shows that the earth is billions of years old, but the basic Christian thought most accepted is the earth was created in 4004 B.C.

How can this happen? Who is right?

Answer: In the bible, it says God created the earth in seven days. But it also states one day for God is a lot more time then our days. One day for God is said to be thousands upon thousands of years. Think about it, the idea of night and day was created at the END of the first DAY. Sow e have to ask ourselves, what is a day? Is it the equinox notion of six hours of light? Is it 24 hours? You need to remember the calender back in 500 B.C. did not have leap years, or even the same way of measurement. They had light and darkness. God seems to measure how long his days are. He created the sun, the water, but he does ot follow our rules. One day can be a million years, and we can't argue that. It said he created the animals and plants for Adam and Eve; but did he just go ,"poof" have some food you two instantly created people? Or did he use the full million years?

"Then God commanded, "Let the earth produce all kinds of animal life: domestic and wild, large and small" - and it was done.

Genesis 1:24

Let the produce, eh? Does it say "poof" anywhere? I don't see it anywhere in the text. The more study I do, the more and more science and scripture start to tie together.

I know hundreds of people have embarked on this, but regardless if I am rediscovering, or even finding things that most people already know... I feel like I am DOING something. I am learning more about myself, and what I want to do with myself.

Let me see....

1.
Major: Philosophy
Major: Medicine
Minor: Speech
Minor: Chemistry

Job: Doctor/Professor

2.
Major: Philosophy
Major: Geology
Minor: Geography
Minor: History (Mythology and Religion)

Job: Professor/Geologist

3.
Major: Philosophy
Major: Arcaeologist
Minor: History (Mythology and Religion)
Minor: Geography

Job: Professor/Archaeologist

Note: All majors and minors are interchangable

Focus-
Philosophy - Ancient Ideas, Metaphysics, Asthetics, and Ethics
Medicine - Pathology, Viruses, and Epidemiology
Archaeology - Europe, Africe, Middle East
Geography - See Archaeology
History - Mythology and Religion
Speech - I like to talk! I want to be better at it!
Chemistry - Biochem, Forensics

What should I do? Anyone have suggestions or are itnerested in any of the above topics? I am loving what I am doing right now, all this research is just mind blowing, and I know it's only the beggining. Who knows where this will take me.....

All things lead the professor, but what else should I be doing? It's the second part I need to investogate. I will be in a social science, but what should I do with that?

Feh + CMU = Professor?

2006-02-06T07:10:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm... Dear Bloggety Blog MAchine thing.... PENIS!

I'm still here, no worries my little chitlins. Life is going ok, but I needed to dissapear for a little while. I've been having sporadic moments of clarity on what I want to do with myself. I realised that I been trying to tap into my potential, but in order to do that, I need to stay far away from loner lab work. I decided instead of being a normal doctor, I'm going to work towards postsecondary education. Basically, I'm going to be a college professor, and that's that. I'm going to get a dual in philosophy and some other major. Probably a science of some sort. My focus may be ethics, but I'm really getting closer to what I want to do. I felt like I was real close with pathology, but I just need to have people around me.... I need that stimulation. So perhaps I'll be one of those super-doctors... those professors of med school/doctors who do it all.... or maybe I'll focus on philosophy, and be a master of ethics and asthetics.... The ethics of society, what is right, what is wrong.... or should I go fine arts? A super critical ultrathinker (Philosophy basically turns you into an incredible thinker, if you are not one already). With this decision, I feel a lot better, because the idea of being so alone made me feel cold.... but that's good, becauase that means I can feel.... and if you knew just how bad I was, you would know how much this means to me.

So here I am, not back at the drawing board, but just expanding. I'm really finding a love for education.... I finally understand that I really od like to teach, and to talk about those things I enjoy.... but I always thought TEACHER, as in K-12, but I hated the idea of teaching kids whod on't want to be there. So it clicked.... about time too.... why not college? Work towards tenure, be a full blown professor with the highest degree imaginable.

Must.... work... hard.... must.... be.... awesome.

Congrats to Alex and the rest of the "Exit" cast on the awesome CMU Film Festival decisions!

Hmmmm,,, would it be Dr. Jeff Hagerl? Prof. Hagerl? Both? We shall see.....

Feh

2006-01-16T10:55:00.000-05:00

I've been discovering I have trouble balancing, school, girlfriend, two jobs, and friends. I think my limist is nearing an end. I could not physically do 17 credits, so I lowered it to 12, but I am really dissapointed in myself for that. I think I'll push mysef harder next semester... Anywho, it has been a good couple of weeks... I spent time with Pam, Alex, and Anna, and that's always good. Long story short, Pam and I went to Mt. P for a couple days last week, and this week we spent time in STC and hung out with Anna. This week should be a little less hectic, and I hope to get out with a couple more of you soon.

I nearly completely quit drinking. I can see now what it did to me, all those nights of getting drunk alone, or going up to CMU to party every weekend in the summer.... it really killed who I was. So now I am working on being a wine connoisseur and a master of the champagne. I new quite a bit before, but it is something I always wanted to persue, and now perhaps I can do it. It takes a very controlled and passionate person at the same time to collect wine and hold the knowledge. I love for drinking, but skilled at controlling it.... so that's my new and firm drinking project.

Work is good, school is good, I just wish I had a few more hours a day to do what I want to do.

Cool

2006-01-03T04:38:00.000-05:00

New Years went well, in my opinion. This is the first party I've been at/hosted in a year where I didn't get drunk. Well, perhaps Rachel's LAN party is an exception..... anywho. Everyone got to meet Pam, people got drunk, and those I have not seen in some time made a showing. Not everyone I was hoping came, but the turnout was still real good. I'm hopinh some of you will post pictures or maybe host some and link them in comments.... or even email them to me (jhagerl@hotmail.com) and I will post them.

I swear, I made like 30 Kamikazees and made Death By Chocolate for the eighth time this year.... hehehe.

I want to thank everyone for welcoming Pam into our worls so warmly, it really meant a lot to us both, I know it's a big change for me, and perhaps some of you may or may not like it (I don't really know), but I do appretiate how nice everyone was.

Witht hat out of the way, I need some quick answers (if you don't mind).

1. How do you rate the party compared to others of the year? Be honest, and use a 1-10 scale.

2. What would make it better (name three bad things)?

3. Name your three favorite things about it.

I would really appretiate the feedback, thanks.

I'm 20 today.... woohoo.

Appointed People

2005-12-23T10:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, here is the plan. I'm going to need help getting this party set up because I will be gone from the 27th to the 30th because I'm going to YAG, so I need help with picking up food and booze. Since this is a BYOB/Contribution Party, I'm going to list some things needed.

Vodka, at least three gallons.
Orange Juice
Peach Tree
Kahlua (or a cheap knock off)
Irish Cream
Creme' de Menthe
Cranberry Juice
CHAMPAGNE (a must have)
White Wine (go cheap, Arbor Mist)
Need one bottle of decent wine....

SNACKS!
If you want food to exist at the party this year, then get some. We could use nuts, dried fruits, chocolates, strawberries, kiwi, and anything else you can think about. (chips and dip maybe)

Also, if someone has something they really want to bring (except eggs), go right ahead.

On the 31st I'll be spending most of the day picking up Pam and decorating/cleaning.... but the party does not start until 8:00 P.M.

BRING CAMERA

Also, I'll need someone who is 21 and will buy booze for me before the party..... so yeah.

Premier Theme, dress..... eceentric? Overly cool?

Don't want to or want something different? Bring camera, dress up mildly as Paparazzi.

I look forward to seeing all of you at ze event in Saint Charles, so Merry Christmas, and I know you will have a happy New Year.

note: If you have booze that is mine (I'm looking at you, Alexei), please bring it.

Premier

2005-12-17T19:38:00.000-05:00

The winner is the Red Carpet/Premier party.

Alright, when you see the ever-so sexy J-Depp stroll is his all so sexy walk... ish... dressed up in his most eccentric (and cool looking) outfit. So the trick to this theme is to look expensive or eccentric. I need a lot of volunteers with cameras.... we need a lot of photo flash and such. Also, if you don't awnt to dress extravagant or something like that... dress like a reporter and come as paparazzi. Whetver you want.... the drinks will be of fine quality and will be researched right down to the technique of making them will be practiced and refined. I want everyone to bring some form of autograph book... a notebook, journal... t-shirt, whatever you want. We need to sign SOMETHING after all... I mean look at us, we rule, and now we're famous. If you want to come as "yourself if you were famous" or as an actual celebrity is up to you. Since you're famous, you can get away with anything... Too much make up, lot's of jewlery, or slutty.... pretty much anything goes. I might spend some money to get a bunch of chocolate roses to hand out to everyone.

I need to start getting supplies organized, so if you can bring ANYTHING, please leave it in my comments on this post. Paper plates, food, booze, juice, props, cameras.... whatever. This bash is going to be a great time, and I hope all of you come.
----
On a different note, I am no longer single. It's pretty much official I have left the world of bachelorism and although it saddens me, I think it will be good for me. Her name is Pamela, and she is a great girl (just in case you were wondering ;) ), and I do believe (and hope) she will be attending this New Year party. Alas, I need to keep myself in line... so wish me luck.

I'll miss you single life!

...but not that much.

New Year Voting

2005-12-15T09:16:00.000-05:00

Solid Color IIII

PMS I

Premiere IIII

Punk I

Black & White III

Prom III

Disease II

B. Brothers II

Trash I

Pajama IIIII

Gender Switch

Alright, this is a sombination if my Live Journal and Blog. We are now going to vote for top three choices. The choices are:

Color party - Everyone dress in solid of one color (or as close as possible).

Pajama Party - Nhur! You CAN'T just come nude or in boxers.... sorry Ryan.

Red Carpet Party/Premier - Brink a notebook to have autographs on. Dress up like you're famous (you can get away with anything!).

VOTE FOR ONE!

www.livejournal.com/users/pinkgiraffe

New Year Themes

2005-12-09T22:24:00.000-05:00

Rachel and I compiled a list of themes to vote on for New Years.... vote bitch.

Pajama Party - Nhur! You CAN'T just come nude or in boxers.... sorry Ryan.

Red Carpet Party/Premier - Brink a notebook to have autographs on. Dress up like you're famous (you can get away with anything!). You CAN'T just come nude or in boxers.... sorry Ryan.

80's/Punk - Safety pin jewlery, leg warmers, andmohawks. The wall will have paper on it so you can graffitti the house.

Color party - Everyone dress in solid of one color (or as close as possible).

Prom Gone Wrong (Josh Urbain's) - Josh, if you could leave a comment that elaborates, please do so. Basically, I think of it as dressing up formally with little taste and snacks.

I was thinking it'd be along the lines of coming in prom outfits, if you want that...or you could come in like tuxedo shirts...or you could come in blue jeans and with like a bowtie on...or you could come with flannel shirt and an infant and a beer bottle....I think you get the idea. - Josh

PMS/Make over/Girls night out Party - Sweat pants, ice cream, nail painting, and a poster of Orlando Bloom to DIIEIEEEEE for. We can also curl each others hair! OMG

Black and White Party - EVERYTHING is black and white. Clothes, decorations, drinks.

Come As Your Favorite Disease (Rachel actually found it) - Use your imagination.... come as a leper or something. I'd dress up like an Ebola suferrer.

Blues Brothers - Suits, ties, hats, sunglasses and soul music!

White Trash Party - Def Leopard, leather, bleached hair, whife beaters, and stilettos!

Gender Switch - Nhur! Guys are girls, girls are lumberjacls!

All would have picture areas, but the prom and premiere would have a much more elaborate picture area. Clothes, drinks, food, and decorations will all be themed.

Some of these can be combined... like PMS and Pajama party. Punk can be combined with Prom Gone Wrong.... you get the idea.

VOTE NOOOOOW!

Note: Vote for your favorite three and we can narrow it down.

New Years

2005-11-28T19:52:00.000-05:00

With Anna doing me a huge favor and taking Christmas out of my hands, it looks like New Years is once again mine. Last year's party was one to be remembered.... I had people who didn't even get invited, and barely know me, walk up and ask me about how badass my party of awsomeness..... was... This year, it shall happen again! HA HA HA HA HA!

It's going to be a BYOB party... If you want a certain drink made for you, just comment it and I will telly ou what you need to buy. For example, if you want to have a Kamikazee.... you will need Sweetened Lime Juice, Vodka, and Triple Sec.

If you want it, post it. I'll probably be making Kamikazees and Screwdrivers.... well, maybe Fuzzy Navels.

Anywho, I'm thinking on theming it. I'm open to suggestions on just about anything, so feedback would be appretiated. Maybe how to improve on what wasn't as good about last years, and so on.

asdfasdf

2005-11-22T00:44:00.000-05:00

In the last week, I've been invited to try and out and be a model, got real drunk, bought a CD, and got a promotion-like thing at the hospital.

I went to watch a modeling show, and got invited to try out att the next audition by a cute judge. I told her I was ugly and clashed but she told me I was cute and had a style that would work. This made me happy. She even did a little ass sizzle. That boosted my overall confidence a tad.

Few days later, went with Alexei to finally see the movie and get drunk. Overrall, I think I ended on beer cup 22 and shot 17. Give this number + or - 3 or so. My number I think of varies, but I think this is the closest. I'm also glad my Kamikazee shots went over well. After party opinipns anyone? Anywho, the party rocked, and I'm glad I was a part of the movie. My drunken antics ranged from trashing Alex's bathroom, to staying up till 7:30 drinking with Joe and Cherie.

I got a call Sunday that I'll be moving a bit up for the third time in volunteer rank. I think this is the end of the road as far as responsibility goes without having a degree. I get my name tag soon, and a bit of insurance. What's new is my increase of time with patients.

Today I hung out with Ryan. We went to get his car fixed (took much longer then expected), and he also told me the school he works at might hire me... or at least have positions available and he will attempt to give me the hookup, so it all might just depend on my interview. After that, I came home, waiting till 11:40, and drove to Meijers to buy System of a Down's new CD, Hypnotize at midnight.

I'm on the second run through, it FUCKING ROCKS!

NHUR!

2005-11-16T20:56:00.000-05:00

EVER FEEL RETARDED!~>!>>!~

I DO AM HI!

TragicMind101: Once upon a time, in a small catholic dominant country town, lived a little boy named Fergus

TragicMind101: now you do a sentence

LastPlaceBassist: fergus didnt belong in this town, for he loved the taste of virgin hymen with lemmon sause

TragicMind101: he discovered this love when he was first put in a wheel chair by a homeless man who mugged him with a shoppic cart for crack at the supple age of 8

LastPlaceBassist: at the age of nine he married the local ostridge farmer and ran far far away to a place called iowa to open a giant ethnic hair care super store

TragicMind101: it was at this store he met the woman of his dreams, Garth Brooks, the local indian healer who was blessed with wonderful powers.

LastPlaceBassist: and these powers included meat vision and the ability to melt, there was now a super hero more useless than aquaman on the justice league

TragicMind101: but the real story was not in the powers of Garth Brooks, but in the child that spawned from his womb.... with the seed of Johnny inside.

LastPlaceBassist: johnny would grow up to be a powerful and ruthless leader of a band of nomads that would later over throw cuba

TragicMind101: and Garth Brooks had a sex change and became a country singer.... with wonderful powers.... and friends in low places (worked at the DMV).

LastPlaceBassist: johnny on the other hand wasnt as lucky as garth and fiedel came back to cuba with antonio banderez, oj simpson (in a pedator suit) and hummers that could float on water and had battering rams shaped like a phalus on the front, the battle only lasted before johnny was taked out, clockwork orange style

TragicMind101: and oj simpson murdered Garth after finding out he was a she at one point.... and the nigger community ran free with AIDS and huge cocks.

LastPlaceBassist: oj simpson had to go on the lamb for every butt fucking redneck was after him for killing their demi-god garth

TragicMind101: and the thunder rolled

LastPlaceBassist: after escapeing the red necks, oj dyed his skin to be as white as it could and started an emo band called "stab rip my sould rip stab stab"

TragicMind101: they had a song that reached number one called "I Killed Garth Brooks With A Sottering Iron And Ten Pounds Of Schmuck Jelly."

LastPlaceBassist: but oj refused to belive anyone liked him because he was an emo kid, and as everyone knows, emo kids suck cock so he jsut got on his livejournal and wrote more bullshit poetry

TragicMind101: eventually he wrote so much poetry, that John Mayer noticed him one night after crying and jacking off to pictures of himself taped to a mirror, and said:

LastPlaceBassist: holy shit, this guy is more of a pussy than walt whitman

TragicMind101: and Jonny criend and was just about to hang up.... but then he got the idea to call OJ..... Johnny wanted revenge on John "I have a vagina" Mayer.

LastPlaceBassist: johnny wanted to embarass john in the media but how? he already made the pussiest music there is next to motzart, and he was already sprouting vaginas on his face, but what could he do?

TragicMind101: then the light bulb clicked on.... He would put John Mayer in a concert band with himself., and have a Pussy-off contest.... biggest pussy wins.... O.J. vs. John Mayer

LastPlaceBassist: oj went on stage riding a sheep and had a daisy rock guitar in his hands, he barrowed a piano from liberaci. he also got elton john to personally make his out fit, he knew this was in the bag

TragicMind101: even after all the fag that as forced out of O.J., John Mayer proved to be a bigger pussy, so O.J., with revenge in hand.... said:

LastPlaceBassist: *with a list* jesus christ john why does it always come to this!? *tears flowing* I JUST WANT YOU IN ME!!!! IVE BEEN PLAYING HARD TO GET FOR YEARS!!!!"

TragicMind101: John yelled back, "I didn't know! I'm so sorry for all of this, I just wish I wish I would have saved my ass back in it's virgin days for you!"

LastPlaceBassist: at this point in time oj had given up, he ran home got out his box of patented emo razors and cut his wrists, but just for attention

TragicMind101: he tried to stem the blood, but all the NyQuil he drank kept him just a little tood runk to find the bandaids.... so he died in the fetal position... under the sink.

LastPlaceBassist: clutching a picture of john mayor, smothered in oj's favorite black lipstick

TragicMind101: and a cucumber rammed up his ass. THE END

Eh

2005-10-27T10:34:00.000-04:00

OMG I UPDATE!!11

Yup, I think it's time to let my last post die.... but it shall go down in "Chris is a FAG" history.

Anywho, I'm looking forward to this upcoming party being put on by Anna and Roomies. It will be a good drunken time. I'm going as Willy Wokna (J. DEPP!) if you did not know that already... and I don't know if I will be doing themed drinks or not, but I have thought about it. If I did do themed drinks, they would not be as hardcore as the real good stuff, and more expenisive, so themed drinks may be a no go. I'll probably end up on my usual screwdrivers....

Well, life as a Premed is quite good for me. I'm at the hospital now, spending most of my time in Histology. I spend most of my time observing, but I try to be of use as often as I can. I like to help with leg dissections and organs.... colons.... uterus.... mostly looking at different cancer. I've been learning quite a bit about cancer.... hehehehe. Finding a tumor (specially in the uterus) can be much more difficult then I thought. It isn't usually a lump like most people imagine it.... it can be hundreds of tiny cysts (breast cancer), or just discolored surface skins (uterus). All in all, it can be bloody.... and I love it.

I'll be volunteering in the morgue soon enough.

**UPDATE**

Chris is still a fag.

Gay

2005-10-09T18:06:00.000-04:00

I swear on the life of George W. Bush.

Chris is gay.

Feh

2005-10-06T09:35:00.000-04:00

Ok, I finally have things in order.

Finish MACRO in the winter.

Spring and Summer classes for some extra credits to transfer.

Transfer to NMU in fall.

Major in Clinical Labratory (Microbiology and Bacteriology)

Minor is still a ??? but probably Human Biology

Bachelor Degree!

Graduate School/Medical School

Major - Medical Scientist

Graduate....

Start Epidemiology Certification.

------
That is my current plan, go me for staying on the ball.
.
.
...
Chris is gay.

Careers

2005-10-05T19:36:00.000-04:00

I'm a very profession oriented person. Whatever my job focus is, my life starts to revolve around that. It's been something I have done for as long as I can remember (even Elementary School, if you known me that long). It's just who I am... I'm almost always happy with it, and I know it will be the great deciding factor to success, but it leaves an empty feeling, you know? I never set aside time to really want to be in a relationship, and it may be old news and all, but it is starting to wear me down. I draw closer to the breaking point.... hehehehe.

Job

2005-09-29T17:56:00.000-04:00

Looks like I'll be getting a job at Covenent. I got accepted into the volunteer job, and will get hired on as a lab assistant when I complete my winter semister (after I take chemistry).

I love working on something new, I'm making leaps in bounds and it has only been a week. I'm even getting chemistry and physics books to study before classes in the winter start.

Also... I'll be back in Carrolton after this Sunday, so it's time to leave STC again and go back to the cool place.

2005-09-29T17:27:00.000-04:00

Psychguy04: are you afraid you might go to heaven?????

Thank you Ryan, that describes me in so many wonderful ways.

better

2005-09-26T23:13:00.000-04:00

So I got a head start on my new major. I'm already placing calls to hospitals to do volunteer work. Ryan and I are also working on getting outside sources to pay for our college. So far we are transferring to U of M.

Corpse Bride rules. Ryand and I snuck beer into the show and such.... good time to be had by all.

I've recently returned from Mt. Pleasant after doing the first segment of filming. I got quite drunk... and did a little flirting, and a little boning of dead animals (not Anna).

Possible bonfire this coming Saturday! Stay tuned.

major

2005-09-22T10:05:00.000-04:00

Around 9:30-9:40 A.M. on September 22nd, I, Grand Master Funk.... changed my major to Pre Med.

asdf

2005-09-16T01:44:00.000-04:00

SOUVAFUMOTHERDIE DIE DIE DEID EID DIERKD DEDDEDDEE~!@#E!@#$!@

I think I handled recent events rather well.

Renegade

2005-09-13T04:48:00.000-04:00

I applied at the Disney Store in the mall, and I'm hoping it was not in vain.

My therapy is done, and although I don't think it has helped much, I feel much better anyways. I've noticed in talking with others about actual topics in their lives, I've been able to reflect much better. Now, I yet to release any anger, but the weight is less.... aaaanywho...

I have a gig, a LAN party, and work to do up north this weekend.

Goodbye gasoline.

working out

2005-09-08T01:04:00.000-04:00

Feh, This week I started the improbable. I have started to take care of my body.... Let it sink in for a second.... let it sink in... Imagine me waking up before 4 PM to run, then doing some sit ups and doing some things with excerise equipment before bed. Imagien me eating less bacon and eating more oatmeal.

I'm going to kill somebody.

Well, I figured this.... I want to look good naked, and if I look good naked, I will look even better naked to other drunk people. So this just might be worth it. I am just tired of look like a 48 year old catholic mother who just pumped out her 11th kid.

I'm going crazy..... crazy.... I want bacon.

Feh

2005-09-03T20:46:00.000-04:00

I've made some interesting therapy progress. It looks like my emotional withdrawal problem is not even close to my problem. Odd, since that was the original theory. It's possible that I'm actually afraid of showing weakness (thus my lack of emotion). So now I have something else to ponder on.

So now it's I hold back my emotions. This causes some paranoia and inner turmoil (big whoop). I go to a therapist, and he spends four weeks trying to get me to come out. Decides from what I say, I think showing emotion is weakness (crying, sadness, fear) so I stop showing them. So he wants me to figure out all these times I should have felt something but let nothing through, and confront them. I really don't like this at all, because I can't think of any events that should affect me. Hell, I don't feel anything ever anymore. I have no pity, and I don't even feel much at all (if anything) during times of hardship and disaster. Feh, I just think I'm an asshole and I'm wasting my time at Covenant.

Weight

2005-09-03T20:37:00.000-04:00

Gain weight, get a job, I want a tatoo, and a place of my own. Many goals for this year, eh?

FFFFFOT

2005-08-31T14:39:00.000-04:00

I've given up.

Mneha!

2005-08-26T09:19:00.000-04:00

I love drinking.

I got really drunk last night.... yeah. So I'm at Mt. P with Alex for a couple days to spend time with my good bud and party. so many parties.... tis freshman weekend y'all! This is when everyone moves in and the parties kick in. Alex and I first spent time at Anna's with her roommate. I got drunk at that location first. Then we head back to his place and stopped in at his neighbors. I have a couple of vodka shots and alex got the beer bong from his closet. We then went across the street to a frickin' huge party. I met a girl I knew from my history of rock and roll and Alex met a guy he wrestled before. We had girls lining up to beer bong and I helped win a game of tippy cup. We would go back to Alexei's to use the bathroom and whatnot and his new roommate John had some of his female friends over so whe we obligated to stop and say stupid drunk shit while we were inside....

Good night.... good night indeed.

2005-08-20T15:42:00.000-04:00

I drink... I'm in therapy.... I don't have a job.... I play much guitar... I bottle my emotions/problems... and my cholesterol is 242. I feel...... broken (or emo). I am growing to be what I hate.... wow.

I recently decided that I hate most poets. If you write poetry, and are reading this, pray you are not a frivolous care free bastard who wastes his/her life writing in a book and thinking on ways to change the world.

I hate idealist is what it comes down to. I hate hippies and world changing do-gooding assholes. On the other hand, I hate extreme right wing conservatives.... using beliefs that don't apply to half the country anymore to decide if people live or die (I'm thinking of stem cells). I just hate those people.... I'm an extremist, but I don't consider myself a democrat or republican.... I'm an extreme middle. I'm the asshole moderate... Does anyone even remotely agree with me? Most people lean a certain way, but I lean against them all.

I will have to think more on this.

Crruise

2005-07-19T22:27:00.000-04:00

Well, I been back for a week now, and if you don't know what I did on it, just call.

I would like to say that I drove through Hurricane Dennis..... I should not be alive.

That is all, I'm alive.

Leaving

2005-06-26T12:16:00.000-04:00

Joe, Al, and I planned a good party. Overall it was a success. anna an dI promised Rachel we would quit smoking, so here is to you Ma'am *raises glass.*

Well, this is the last you get of Grand Master Funk for a month. I shall miss all of you very much.... until I get drunk on an island, then I won't care.... or maybe I'll care too much..... fuck it I don't have feelings.

I'm hoping to make it down and back, so keep the Jeff in mind!

-
Leave for Florida
Stay for a week
Cruise for 7 days
-Ocho Rio
-Grand Cayman
-Cozumel
Florida for a week

Return!

I'm weird.

2005-06-18T04:04:00.000-04:00

ARTIFACT

6 A.M.

Off the coast of Cuba

Her name is Haquan. She has 6 decks, three inch alloyed steel and enough equipment to put NASA to shame. Haquan, my one true love. She is all I have left in life. My name is Doctor Jonathan Scurn, I’m 46 years old, and divorced. I never did like my ex-wife much, I just married her so all appeared well. Women, always a problem, but not my biggest problem. My biggest problem is I have a boat worth $2.4 billion dollars and a project that will require more then the envy NASA. What I need comes from the heart, and the heart alone. Love? No, that’s simple compared to what I need. I need something greater then love, greater then courage….. I need ambition. Right now, my life has none. I used to use this heap of Government money to raise ships and artifacts from Davie Jones locker, but now I just sail it from port to port looking for cheap whores to pick up and satisfy my undying lust. All I do now is get sucked off by some cheap ten dollar hooker that usually doesn’t even get paid because I beat her and threatened to destroy her family and kill her dog. The fucking bitch, I hope she dies. She never loved me anyways. I once had a cunt of my own, but I never loved her. I hope she fucking dies the untrained bitch. Sadly, that is not what this is about. I need ambition. How do I get ambition? Only god knows. The pot took most of it away, and the traitorous cunt I married for show. I hope she dies. Bitch. “Why don’t you take out the garbage?” She would ask. Normally I would respond with a punch to the face, but last time I just killed her puppy and fucked its corpse. Bitch. Ambition, something that doesn’t have a price (unless you have ecstasy).

7 A.M.

I can’t stop thinking about her. She haunts my sleep. I just want to sleep. I…. I can’t take it much longer. I tried taking some Nyquil, but it doesn’t seem to help. All I do is end up choking because I could never swallow pills any ways. I just end up having them melt on the tip of my tongue and letting that foul juice sip to the bottom of my mouth causing my tongue to stiffen…. I gag. I don’t just gag on the pill, but on the thought of that bitch. She is why I can’t swallow correctly. She and I tried snowballing once, and after that I never could get anything soft or with texture different then the norm down my throat. Chinese food is off the menu…. That bitch. Maybe I should burn her house down. Maybe I should try another pill…. Let it trickle down….

7:30 A.M.

I almost fell asleep, then I rolled over and my arm knocked a picture of us over. Yes, I know…. I’m pathetic. I still have our pictures up around the house. I… I miss her. Whatever I write or say about her is not true…. Maybe I can sleep now….

8:00 A.M.

Cunt took my sleep away. Now I can’t stop thinking about her, maybe my depression got in the way…. Sleeeeep.

10:00 A.M.

Ok, I skipped an hour. I called her a couple times, I want to fix things. A man answered the phone…. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?!?! That whore! It’s only been six months! Give me some time…. Come on babe, I still love you.

Well, I’m off to work.

8 P.M.

I did it, I finally quit. Now I can do what I have always wanted to do. Sell my boat and use it on ecstasy. I’ll be back later, time to hook up with Rico (my drug dealing friend).

2 A.M.

THIS IS SOME GOOD STUFF IM SO HAPPY I THINK SHE WILL TAKE ME BACK I JUST CALLED HER THE BITCH STILL GUY OVER HOUSE WOW HEY I HAVE PISTOL ME WOW.

4 A.M.

Tried to kill myself but missed from the arm shaking. I’m bleeding from the shoulder, but I should be ok. I put some super glue on the wound and wrapped it in bed sheets.

4:30 A.M.

I’m getting tired…. So tired…. I should sleep….

Night…

Music

2005-06-07T13:31:00.000-04:00

The band will make it!

It's all coming together. Song lists, members, and already got gigs. This should rock.... I mean ROCK! YEAH!

Anna is learning bass, and we got Paul (Red Eye) on drums, so now we can play songs besides fully accoustical ballads OF DEATH!

So far we are call N/A.

-------
In other news, System of a Down start touring in August in Calafornia and Texas. We should be in class when they come to Michigan. Don't worry about class, most days are on Saturday, and some on Friday. This should rock almost as much as that one band (N/A) does.

Shootings Stars

2005-06-04T04:46:00.000-04:00

Dear Journal.

Tonight I drank champagne, ate strawberries.... cheese..... and somehow ended up on the trampoline at 3 a.m. with Alex wishing upon stars. That's right, we watched shooting stars. Now, I have an strange hate for the sky because it is so hard to own.... eh.... food.

Shut up.

meh

2005-05-30T17:31:00.000-04:00

I went up north and chaperoned..... yup.

Not much new, I'm pretty much in the same spot as I was last week. I've been sending emails and instant messages as usual, and I still eat 1/2 pound burgers on a regular basis. I have no reason to update, but I did anyways.

Grad

2005-05-26T14:41:00.000-04:00

Must remember...

July 17th

2-7

Jamestown Hall

I hope I'm back from the cruise in time.